After an overdose of local news a few nights ago, I went onto Amazon and typed in “shame.” As I expected, all I could find were books about overcoming shame, how to move beyond it. The top hit was Healing the Shame that Binds You, but there were many more: Letting Go of Shame or Healing the Shame We Don’t Deserve, and so on.
But isn’t there shame that we do deserve? What about learning to live with shame that is almost unbearable? Isn’t it precisely by becoming harrowingly aware of our faults and misdeeds that we become better people? Why no books about living with shame, rather than just getting beyond it?
It’s not only in the world of books that shame is taboo, where the only goal is to avoid it. We do the same in Israeli society, deftly moving the spotlight from our misdeeds to someone else’s alleged fault. Perhaps successfully, perhaps not, we try to convince ourselves that we bear no responsibility. What’s certain, though, is that this pattern allows us to avoid the introspection that might actually make us better people and, ultimately, a better country.
BY NOW, most of us have forgotten Eden Abergil, the former IDF soldier who posted on her Facebook page photographs of herself posing in front of bound and blindfolded Palestinians. What she did is revolting on a myriad of levels. For me, though, what was most astounding was her absolute unwillingness to consider the possibility that she had done anything wrong.
Did Abergil not care that she was humiliating those Palestinians (for they must have known that they were being photographed)? Did she not care that she was affecting how they would think of Jews? Did she not realize what the momentary (and sick) satisfaction she would get from this display of – of what? – might do to the image of her country as those photos flashed across the world, or the light it would cast on her (former) fellow soldiers, most of whom do their best to protect their country with incomparable decency?
At first, she feigned naïveté. “I still don’t understand what’s wrong,” she said to Army Radio, because the “pictures were taken in goodwill; there was no statement in them.”
But then, worst of all, she tried to shift the blame. She aimed her sights at the very army she’d betrayed, because she’d been informed that she’d be stripped of her rank. “The army let me down,” she said, expressing anger, not shame. “I’m sorry that I served in such [an] army.”
On that count, she’s right. It’s a shame that someone like her served in our army.
But Abergil is only sorry that she served in the army. She has no regret that she humiliated her prisoners, brought shame on the army or was raised without her parents teaching her that the best thing to do when you’re clearly wrong is to acknowledge that – and to grow from it. No, she’s part of the “healing the shame we don’t deserve” society, in which everyone except us is at fault.
At least the officer who is accused of having stolen laptops from one of the Turkish flotilla ships had the decency to cover his face at his first hearing. Is it possible that he’s now ashamed? One can only hope.
BUT THIS is not just an army matter. What about Rabbi Yitzhak Shapira, whose recent book, Torat Hamelech, argues that non-Jews may be killed indiscriminately in war, and who asserts, in Chapter Five, that “even babies who [are innocent] – there is good reason to consider killing them because of the future danger that will be created if they are raised by evil-doers like their parents.”
So the police investigate Shapira for incitement, but instead of acknowledging that something is clearly amiss with religious education in parts of Israeli society, wide swathes of the rabbinate close ranks, arguing that rabbis must have freedom of expression. If the police can indict for this, religious freedom will be endangered, they insist. Magically, it’s now religious freedom that’s the issue, not the fact that some of the country’s religious “leadership” is condoning murder.
Whether or not this ought to be a police matter is a good question. But, so too, is the question of what is the ideal collective response to a book like Shapira’s. Is society well served when legalities afford us escape from confronting our painful failings? How is it that a country that rose from the ashes of the Holocaust can produce “religious” leaders who sanction the wholesale murder of babies? Most Israelis don’t see this as a reflection on our collective society.
What’s happening to us that we’re producing Abergils and Shapiras (and others) in ever increasing numbers? Do we not recognize the danger of our unwillingness to confront the shameful parts of who we’ve become? Of course we’re at war, and yes, we do have very real enemies. But when our battles blind us to the danger of being unwilling to admit that some dimensions of this society are simply shameful, haven’t we lost something sacred? With Israel so unfairly delegitimized at every turn, it is only natural that we will instinctively seek to defend the country we love. Sadly, there are too few Jews willing do to that today.
But that instinct must have limits. When the world applies double standards or is hypercritical in its treatment of the Jewish state, patriotism demands that we fight back. But when things go wrong, when there’s incontrovertible evidence that something is seriously amiss with Israel’s moral education (or at least parts of it), genuine patriotism demands that we acknowledge that, too.
For the danger of constant self-justification is very real. If we continue this pattern of avoiding shame and shifting blame, even if we are successful in saving this country, we may wake up one day and realize that what we saved wasn’t worth having in the first place.
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Dr. Daniel Gordis is Senior Vice President of the Shalem Center, where he is also a senior fellow. The author of numerous books on Jewish thought and currents in Israel...
The Jewish State must end, say its enemies, from intellectuals like Tony Judt to hate-filled demagogues like Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. Even average Israelis are wondering if they wouldn't be better off somewhere else. 
From my personal experience, I believe that it shame is the best corrective for bad behavior. But the taboo goes back at least to the ’80s when I was turned down by Big Sisters because I felt that shame should play a role in discipline.
Frankly, you’ve mostly moved further to the right than I am, but I find this column spot-on. The reason I read your columns is that you’re a whole-hearted Zionist without being blind to Israel’s problems and faults.
This is a heart-rending article. As an American Jew who sometimes gives serious consideration to spending extended periods of time in Israel, it seems more and more obvious that the Israel of my childhood and adolescence is not the real Israel. That the Israel of my imagination doesn’t really exist anymore, if it ever did. It is not the press that makes me feel that way, but dispatches like this one. If Israel isn’t really anything more than a place that has a Jewish majority (at least for now) but doesn’t actually hold itself to a higher moral and ethical standard, one that is taught and learned, than why care so much about it?
This timely article stikes at a fundamental problem in Israeli society, and Daniel Gordis is correct in maintaining that we should be ashamed of behavior toward other people that is gratuitously derogatory and humiliating. News reports today pointed out that many soldiers routinely take souvenir photographs with Palestinian detainees.
This reality leads us to basic questions: what has lead up to a situation in which young poeople, who are otherwise not criminal or abnormal, act this way, and even insist that it is normal to do so?
What other behavior are we ignoring, including treatment of Palestinians at checkpoints, and behavior toward Palestinians that is far from the cameras?
It could just be that 43 years of arresting, humiliating and torturing Palestinians who have no civil rights in Israeli society and whose land we occupy, have made many of our young people into callous human beings. The conclusions should be obvious.
The shame you write about here is the self awareness aspect of moral sensitivity. Were I still in the pulpit, preparing sermons for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kipur, this article would have meant discarding at least one sermon and starting afresh.
Thank you for speaking up on both these points, Daniel.
To the extent that we adopt or condone the mores and behaviors we find most noxious in our enemies, surely we have lost the very battle we are fighting. We must work hard to fix whatever fault has allowed some of us to become wholly insensitive to the ultimate humanity of our enemies -even if we must fight them. One would hope that Rabbinic leadership would step in to fill this void, quickly. Serious discussion of precisely what is wrong here with Abergil’s behavior and understanding on the one hand and Rabbi Shapiro’s work in the other is most important to preserving the essence of our society – and the Jewish character of Israel. Judaism has laways evinced a unique and complex balance between the obligation to wage battle against evil and those allied with it, and the limitations that exist upon the means employed while fighting to extirpate evil -, so that we do not become evil in the process.
Thank you for your eloquent words, as always. The sentiments you expressed should be on the lips, and in the hearts and minds of every Jew this High Holy Day season. In our eagerness to assert, defend or exceptionalize ourselves, have we forgotten what it means to be Jewish?
Shame has a very important place in human development and morals and Gordis is right in praise of shame. However, his indictment of Rabbi Shapira is preposterous because he calls Rabbi Shapira’s recommendation as “murder.” I have never heard that the killing of people in a war is murder when there is moral justification for the war and when these actions are taken in the course of a normal conduct of war and not as wholesale ot indiscriminate murders or torture. Although the death of all people is to be lamented, one cannot be declared guilty for the killing of enemies when they stand against one’s army and if these victims happened to be babies, the sadder it is. Categorizing such killings in the course of a war as murder is irrational, has no basis in either the morality of the Torah or universal jurisprudence. Rabbi Shapira’s statements should be taken in this context and not as a permission to kill babies or any other enemy. Gordis’ vituperative and self-righteous indignation about the rabbis’ desire to preserve and protect religious freedom is arrogant. Would he want people to silence his views because they are pacifist or any other name? He is demonizing a whole section of the Jewish people, the Rabbis. Who is he to condemn people with such self-assurance and from what moral code does he derive his moral guidelines? I have often admired Gordis’ positions, but on this one, he deserves the shame he so much praises.
Danny, I would have loved for you to go further with another behavior which I do not understand, one that plagues people of all ages: where someone is so self righteous that they do not understand when they are wrong, they need to apologize. And then forgive and move on. Where did this behavior come from? Why is it endemic in all ages? I have colleagues who have never said that they are wrong – when clearly they are- and they place blame on others and insist they are still correct. Is it because we have tried to raise our children with values that put them at the forefront? Is it because we have hovered and praised instead of teaching independence and letting them make their own mistakes?
I’ll come clean that I might be one of those parents, and I am trying to undo the harm for my 19 year old by guiding her in a better direction and encouraging her to make mistakes and learn from them.
So where does this fit in? It’s Elul, the full moon has just passed. Let’s take a Heshbon nefesh and be honest with ourselves. And then forgive ourselves too.
Shortly after the Six-Day War Professor Yehoshua Leibowitz decried Israel’s retention of the “territories,” claiming that by remaining an occupying power Israel was eating away at its very soul.
Professor Rachel Elior , chair of the department of “Jewish Thought” at Hebrew University stated that it is essential to end the occupation if we want to save our moral backbone ….which to me is the essence of a Jewish State …
Maybe herein lies the answer to why Abergil did not even know that she did something so very abhorrent.
Wow, Danny. This is really powerful and slaps me in the face (or sounds the Shofar) to awaken me to the danger of moral complacency and the convenience of neglect.
Thanks for this good work. Dale
David Algaze, It is you who is generalizing the speech of Shapira to that of all rabbis. Rabbi Gordis did not do so. Be careful and narrowly focused when making accusations.
Wise words!
The two examples you give are very different. Abergil perhaps illustrates the “how I feel” outlook and me-as-victim defence that many young people in the West, not only Israel, are trained up in. If there is lack of moral compass beyond one’s own immediate feelings, how can shame arise except as an unwelcome intrusion – perhaps from a suppressed conscience?
In these terms, R Shapira is different. For a higher purpose, shameful acts may be carried out: the line of those who order genocide through the ages. With Shapira, it is the Jewish people who must not be victim.
This is a counter to the find-the-victim and feel sorry for them approach typical of the W media. But this again avoids any shame as long as one gets one’s victim-ology right.
I suggest shame arises from failing an external moral code that looks beyond one’s own advantage or emotional discharge. Abergil perhaps does not know such a code; Shapira turns away from it.
With respect to Rabbi Shapira’s recommendations as to how we treat the citizen population of our enemies, he is relying on the Torah.
To be ashamed of our shameful actions we must know what is shameful. Here too, I urge those who cannot recognize shame to read Deuteronomy.
In my humble opinion the values presented by the Covenant are the foundation of our abilities as Jews to take upon ourselves responsibility for each other and for our Community. To defy or to be ignorant of these values is the greatest shame.
Ki Mitzion Tetzei Torah
Years ago I stopped iterating the familiar, chanted prayer “ki mitzion tetzei torah”, having considered the weightiness of these words, in light of the current, uninspiring and derisive “torah” coming forth from Zion, the seat of the chief rabbinate. To the people of Israel, Am Yisrael, torah means different things to different people: Torat Kohanim, Torat Hamelech, Torat Korbanot, Torat Hateva, and Torat Imeinu, are but a few of the permutations of torah and its teachings. What most people, however would agree upon is that torah was never intended to be divisive, derisive, exclusive and encouraging prejudicial treatment of a minority seeking equality and inclusion under Torat Am Yisrael. Certainly, Isaiah’s intent when he uttered these words was that a strong moral and ethical message must go forth from Zion; not one laden with the politics of hate.
Over the decades and from the inception of statehood, Torat Am Yisrael has contributed enormously to the welfare of its citizens, placing them at the center of any social and welfare considerations. In many ways Isaiah would be proud of Israel’s accomplishments in the arts, sciences and humanities because of the manner in which these accomplishments have uplifted the human condition and spirit. However Torat Hashem that has been charged to the rabbinic leadership of Am Yisrael leaves much to be desired and if anything has sunk rather than uplifted the human spirit that Isaiah spoke of.
Recently the chief rabbi of Israel, Yonah Metzger (Ashkenazi) criticized the police for questioning Rabbis Yaakov Yosef and Dov Lior regarding their endorsement of the controversial book The Torah of the King. The book deals with the putative halachic position of killing non-Jews during wartime and the author of this inflammatory volume, Rabbi Yitzchak Shapiro is under police investigation for the incendiary content contained in this alleged metaphysically uplifting contribution to Jewish spirituality. Rabbi Metzger defended Shapiro claiming that the same standards, which apply to professors, protected by freedom of expression, ought to be applied to rabbis as well. Apparently, rabbi Metzger’s logic has been corrupted by the pilpulism shared by his acolytes, which graphically demonstrates the widening gap between the academic community and the medieval world he sojourns.
Academia is based not on the regurgitation of text and commentaries punctuated by inane interpretation, but on fundamental original research and thinking by which new ideas are germinated, tested and evaluated for their merit by scholars trained in critical thinking. Not every idea and theory has merit, but it is through consistent methodology, critical thinking and bold experimentation that have generated progress in the way we treat the human being and the world we live in. Haredi and ultra orthodox rabbis on the other hand, locked into medieval theological and halachic positions, have not the room or training to maneuver; intellectually smothered and rendered comatose very early in their development. It is for this reason that Rabbi Nosson Slifkin’s (haredi rabbi) theories and teachings about evolution were beaten back, his books banned, abused emotionally and verbally, as well as being victimized by character assassination in 2005. Original thought within the haredi/ultra orthodox community isn’t tolerated and so mired in anachronism that they can’t manage to move the furniture around in the room, much less replace it.
Rabbi Metzger knows as well as everyone else that the Shapiro book The Torah and the King is incitement to kill non-Jews in time of war. In the Haredi/ultra orthodox world there is a perpetual war raging against Amalek as currently personified by the Muslims. It was this type of incitement that got Yitzchak Rabin assassinated. By that standard, any academic that would incite to kill would be under a similar investigation.
There is no double standard, as Rabbi Shapiro would have us believe. What we do have is a colossal failure of the haredi/ultra orthodox community to study, analyze and critique text in a manner that would reflect intellectual honesty elevating all of us. Rather than ban Rabbi Slifkin’s books on evolution, (incorporating his teachings into the haredi/ultra orthodox curriculum which would have catapulted forward the haredi world into the modern age), they should be banning Rabbi Shapiro’s book, a throwback to the medieval period. By not doing so they have opted to remain suspended in the Middle Ages – the dark ages.
It would seem that you exhibit in “vicarious shame” for abergil’s appauling bad taste. She doesn’t show any guilt for her actions. Your assertion that the army should experience shame for the actions for one of its former soldier’s does not make sense because their action of stripping her of her rank showed moral rectitude.
One must always look at the big picture. This would never had happened if the Arabs had accepted Ben Gurion’s offer of peaceful coexistence on May 14, 1948. All the shame is on them, not on some immature teenager. The Rabbi Shapira’s book is another matter – a true cause of shame even when one considers where it comes from.
Very worthwhile article.
Re Eden: She was young and not that different from most teenagers. All this proves is that we are like the rest of humanity…Although I would have thought that Abu Ghraib taught us something.
The Rabbi: Sad…
Having said that, this article points to our faults. There are so many people out there more than willing to rub our noses in them, that I am reluctant to add to the chorus. It is good to reflect on our faults privately, but I’d hate to “wash our dirty linen” publicly.
Thank you for this article We too often are fearful of speaking out against what is wrong with our society. Only when we recognize our faults (as you have done) can we strive to become better.
David Algaze is right, and Daniel Gordis is wrong. There is no shame in killing babies in war. There was no shame in the fire bombings of Germany or the atomic strike at Hiroshima. In the end it is my babies or their babies, and I am proud to protect my babies even if they are 18 years old. If there are any murderers it is the aggressors in war. The shame all belongs to Hamas, Hizbolla, and Iran as it did to the Nazis and the Communists. To preach anything different is to advocate losing the war. Ask anyone who has actually lost a war for a valid opinion on what that means.
Torat haMelech has been kicking around since November 2009. It was intended as a study book, not as a halachic discourse by rabbis who are not decisors. This muck-raking was started by Haaretz, whose agenda is obvious and well-known. What political reason did the police have to launch an investigation now? And why did you choose to take up this issue at this time?
With regard to Eden Abergil it is absurd to accuse her of humilitating these Palestinian prisoners. The Palestinians and Muslims in general have an exalted opinion of themselves and an exaggerated hypersensity to what they consider “humiliation.” As in other matters, to our detriment, we have bought into their narrative.
Daniel, climb down from this self-righteous sense of “shame” and worry about Israel’s physical survival. Our moral survival will take care of itself; it always has.
There is nothing new with this kind of ignorance.
You cannot take the shame nor the blame for such behavior.
You did not educate these people.
In our long history there are many cases of misbehavior.
Just read the Bible, specially Jeremiah. As if nothing changed in the last 3,000 years.
Every nation has its problems, we are no different even though some of us think that we are Am Segula.
There are many bright and intelligent and even intellectual Jews but there are also Jews like the people you mentioned.
To be a good Jew is a very difficult burden to carry all your life. It is easier to be and behave like all other nations.
That’s reality.
Wow… The writing clear and beautiful as usual. The comments…I did not expect the cant. I feel that some may have missed the intent of our young rabbi’s words.
I will share my simple interpretation starting with my point of view.
I am a Jew, I am responsible for ALL of my actions, purposeful or not.
Shame is a scar that is never erased. A rip in my honor.
I learn to live with scars, the more painful ones take longer to live with.
Scars learned from may be badges of honor if they are not hidden.
Being ashamed of my shame or scars is not very Jewish of me.
Be proud, let others learn from your scars. Shine brightly and share light with the world.
Mr. Gordis,
I am shocked that you think the Rabbis shouldn’t be afforded the same freedom of speech that you would want for yourself. Wouldn’t it be better for you to write the Shalem Center’s analysis of the halakah concerning “Amalek” verses that of the Rabbi and handle the discussion with a bit of intellectual integrity instead of the type of base and fascist criticism wherein the ideas you disagree with should be eradicated and those who expressed them should be arrested.
Once again people with limited Jewish religious education consider they are qualified to opine on what a learned and respected Rabbi has written. Using words like “incendiary” when discussing the halacha as to when or when it is not permitted to kill to save jewish lives shows how lacking the writer is in true Torah understanding. Instead of dealing with these matters in context people project on to their religious outlook the mores prevalent in the society in which they live and think that represents authentic Judaism. That is why there is in the UK Jews for Justice for Palestinians. I personally do not agree with Rabbi Metzger in equating the pious and learned HaRav Shapira with the likes of the traitrous Neve Gordon which is outrageous comparison. As to the facebook fiasco the fact is that in general children in Israel are no different from their counterparts the world over. Children are now taught “magya li” I am entitled to it – whatever it may be from an ice ream to an i-pod. Ms Abergil as part of that generation therefore sees absolutley nothing wrong in what she did because her focus is on “me” not as it should be on anyone else who may be harmed by her therefore thoughtless actions. This begins in the home and the only way of reversing this phenomenom is to re-educate both parents and children away from a bis”li” philosophy to a kneid”lach” philosophy that is how I treat my fellow man/woman whether friend/foe is more important than the kovod (honour) due to me.
I am sickened by this sanctimonious, twisted, and stinking piece of anti Israel crap that Daniel Gordis produced and had the gall to present for publication in an Israeli newspaper.
He is still unable to even begin to explain how the picture of a former IDF soldier sitting next to Arab prisoners somehow offends their dignity, or his sense of “shame.” Arab and Jewish prisoners appear in photos of their captors in the newspapers every day, indeed, these prisoners are routinely filmed sitting in court next to their jailors smiling, laughing, and in the case of the Arab prisoners, bragging about how they murdered this or that many Jewish pigs.
Gordis’s allegations that some Israeli soldiers may have or may have not stolen laptops or cell phones on the infamous Flotilla are all well and good, but mean nothing. The truth is, and Daniel Gordis knows this perfectly well, is that events like this happen so rarely among our really moral and decent soldiers that we should be singing the praises of the morality of our soldiers and not writing this sort of juvenile and shallow pap about Daniel Gordis’s silly and unrealistic sense of “shame.”
I am also deeply concerned about Mr. Gordis’s overall condemnation of Israel as a result of his article. It is bad enough that our enemies hold us up to an impossible standard of morality and behavior that is not applied to any other people, religion, ethnic group, or nation in the world and when we fail to measure up to that impossible standard, they demand our destruction. But I find it much, much worse and far more nauseating when an educated and possibly religious Israeli Jew like Mr. Gordis actually outdoes our genocidal enemies by demanding a standard of perfection for Israelis and then bitterly and publicly chastising us for failing to behave perfectly.
Mr. Daniel Gordis you should be ashamed of yourself and the sick and twisted article you had the nerve to publish in the Jerusalem Post condemning Israel and Israeli soldiers.
You make me sick.
I worked as a physician at Ahli Arab Hospital in Gaza during the first intifada. Every day not only teenagers but young chldren were brought in to the ER who had been beaten and/or shot by the IDF, Border Police, or settlers. Many of these cases are documented in the Redd Barna (Swedish Save the Children) report about the impact of the intifada on Palestinian children. And the shooting and beating of children was reported in the Israeli press as well, especially in excerpts from soldiers’ diaries.
It’s amazing to me how many “friends of Israel” in the USA insist that that the “most moral army in the world” never “deliberately targets civilians.” The army’s behavior was just as shameful 20 years ago.
Twenty-eight years ago this Yom Kippur I listened to a well-known Conservative rabbi give a sermon that amounted to a rant of “Israel, right or wrong.” To my shock and disgust, he defended the actions of Ariel Sharon and the IDF in allowing the Sabra and Shatila massacres to take place – in effect, condoning murder on our holiest day, the day we should repent of sin, not cheer it on. I was angered that day, and deeply revolted that this rabbi refused to acknowledge (much less condemn) a truly shameful incident.
Rabbi Gordis and many of the commenters above have correctly identified that we cannot allow ourselves the sop of self-justification and blame shifting. The moment we do so, we become that which we despise.
Wishing everyone a peaceful and reflective High Holy Day season.
Thank you for reminding us of who we are and what we should be. The hypocrisy of the Rabbis is more than a little disheartening. By refusing to condemn Shapira’s statement they place themselves on the same moral ground as the imams and so-called moderate Islamic representatives who will not condemn terrorism and and all of the evils of the Islamists.Is that the company that the Rabbis want to keep?
In the five years that I’ve lived in Israel, I’ve observed this behavior — solipsism or extreme ego-centrism — run rampant. Many are quick to scream “booshah” when someone else transgresses; an it’s the little things that evoke to disproportionate responses. But when the booshah behavior is their own, it’s “mah, mah, mah?”. We can adapt to the jungle or try to change it. It’s our choice.
Bs”D
The points for and against Dr. Gordis’ treatise have been taken up in most of the preceding comments. My familiarity with his writings is that part of his purpose in writing what and how he does is in fact just that – to generate comment that will help further clarify the issues. I am not speaking for anyone other than myself, therefore, when I suggest that we – his readers – try to stick to the issues he raises and refrain from ad-hominem comments. As for a modest contribution of my own to this discussion, I recognized the phenomenon that Dr. Gordis is “railing” about many years ago when the film “Honey, I Shrunk the Kids” started showing on Israeli screens. The Hebrew translation given to the title of the movie was “???? ?????? ???????”, which simply translates back into English as “Honey, the Kids Shrunk”! I had something to do with that…?
It seems to me that this adds a little perspective to what we see as a developing (not positive) fact of our lives here in the Holy Land. And while not buying into the arguments of our erstwhile friends both here and abroad, it would appear that there is a need for more than a little soul-searching – by all of us – and what better time to focus on this than the current month of Elul?
There are some points made in this article that I strongly disagree with and others that I strongly agree with. However, should we find fault with the messenger, we may be losing sight of his message…
Very incisive analysis. The role of moral behavior has faded in the U.S. and apparently in Israel. What a sad commentary on individual freedom! How can we condemn the totalitarian nations if we are banal?
I’ll agree with comment above by Mordecai Goldman,& add a special story before Yomim Noraim (High Holy Days).
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A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert like island.
The two survivors, not
knowing what else to do, agree that they had no other recourse but to pray to Hashem.
However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed
to divide the territory between them and stay on opposite sides of the island.
The first thing they prayed for was food. The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man’s parcel of land remained barren.
After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the
island, there was nothing.
Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day,
like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.
Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked at his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God’s blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.
As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from
heaven booming, “Why are you leaving your companion on the island?”
“My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them,”
the first man answered. “His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything.”
“You are mistaken!” the voice rebuked him.
“He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings.”
“Tell me,” the first man asked the voice, “what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?” “He prayed that all your prayers be answered.”
For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us (AND BOTH CARING & ACTING ON OUR BEHALF).
May our understanding of the message in this story help urge us to actions that bring peace in our families, to our neighborhood, community, & nations in the year to come, as we resolve to do better than we did in the past year.
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I am disappointed by this article.
Daniel Gordis cites three incidents that have already been thoroughly discussed in the press, and then states: “What’s happening to us that we’re producing Abergils and Shapiras (and others) in ever increasing numbers?”
Gordis may be right; the problem is, however, that he offers absolutely no evidence for this statement. Was the situation any different five, ten, or fifty years ago? Could it be that the IDF is actually MORE sensitive to moral issues than it was in the “good old days” when Yitzhak Rabin suggested that the first Intifada be put down by breaking arms and legs? Could it be that, despite the recent embarrassing incident involving the computer theft, that the kind of looting that occurred during the first war in Lebanon would never be tolerated by today’s IDF? Is there any reason to view the incidents Gordis cites as being reliably indicative of general trends in Israeli society?
And now for some perspective. In 2006 the US armed forces conducted a survey of troops returning from Iraq. “It revealed that more than half of the U.S. troops disagreed with the statement that noncombatants should be treated with dignity and respect. Almost 10 percent reported mistreating civilians by kicking them or unnecessarily damaging their possessions—many claimed that they had not been instructed otherwise. One-third of Marines and one-quarter of the soldiers said that their leaders had failed to tell them not to mistreat civilians.” (See:
http://www.cceia.org/resources/transcripts/0307.html )
Isn’t it interesting that even among very informed people, few have heard of this survey? And imagine if such statistics had been published regarding the IDF after Operation Cast Lead!
Spot on article Daniel. The problem that is symptomatic throughout Israeli society today, is the inability to walk even one pace in another man’s shoes. An inability to empathise is a scary trait.
When preparing my Year 12 class for their trip to Poland, I was taken aback when one of the girls gave as her reason for wanting to come, was to experience anti-semitism. I realised for the first time then, that for Israelis that really is a foreign concept. Maybe the 2 are connected.
Bs”D
Further to Allan Levine’s and Jack Steiner’s comments (for which I thank you for getting my thinking wheels moving again!):
Mirrors are a useful tool. They enable us to see ourselves as we would want others to see us, but they don’t always reveal who we really are. On the other hand, there are different kinds of mirrors, and some reveal things about ourselves of which we were not aware. A simple example of this is the lunar eclipse, by means of which mankind, in ancient times, was able to see the shadow of the earth, and thus discover that the earth’s shape is spherical and not flat.
In human society, it is often the “other”, the member of a disadvantaged group, who serves as the mirror to the majority society. By the manner in which the majority deals with the special needs of the minority, we learn much about the attitudes and aptitudes of the majority society itself.
Jewish society seems to be an exception to this rule – both as a minority throughout most of its history, and as a majority in its own land – the interactions that have revealed much about the real nature of Jewish society have been not only those with the “other”, the outsider, but also those with each other. Pirkei Avot, the Ethics of our Fathers, teach us that the world stands on three “legs” – Torah, Avodah and Gemilut Hasadim, the latter usually
being translated as ‘acts of lovingkindness’, but in fact includes every possible way in which one Jew shows his care and concern for every other Jew, whether he knows him personally or not.
Pirkei Avot teaches us a lot about our relations with our fellow Jew. One Mishnah in the 5th chapter states: “There are four types of people: … One who says “What is mine is mine, and what is yours is yours” — this is a median characteristic; others say that this is the character of a Sodomite… ” This latter comment is rather surprising, until one explores the inner workings of the short-lived society in ancient Sodom. This was a society in which life was so materialistically good for its inhabitants that they became inured to the needs and wants of a stranger in their midst. It is a cruel society indeed that states – “What is mine is mine, and what is yours is yours”.
For the Jewish People to truly become a “free People in its own Land”, a People free to choose that which is best not just for the individual but also for the entire nation, it needs to look into the mirror of how we relate not just to the non-Jew but IMHO most importantly – the mirror of how we relate to our fellow Jews, especially those who ‘pray on the other side of the island’, or those who have even forgotten that we all came here on the same ship…
if Germans had spoken up, as you now have, there would have been no Hitler.
If we don’t speak up, the small minority can prevail.
Dear Daniel,
I am a Christian, an American living in Poland. For all our differences, we see the same way. Your Torah, and my Old Testament, have example after example of the thick-skinned outlook on life…one that only acknowledges self. The Benjaminites in one city thousands of years ago also did the same by not admitting to a crime, the rest of the tribe was unwilling to repent as well and chose to fight the remaining tribes of Israel rather than admit their wrong doing. That ended badly.
Without shame, we continue to walk downhill on a road towards destruction, never even feeling ‘lower’. Without signposts and warning signs on the way, we can all easily get lost. That God, for the love of a warning parent and a heart seeking truth that enable many to avoid the ‘pits’ so easy to fall into. But even more wonderful is the love of God that pulls us out of them after we have fallen. Just as the Benjaminites were rejoined to their brothers, just as David was forgiven for his sin, so He, blessed be His Name, points out our sin, asks us to repent, and then opens His arms for us. There is forgiveness and restoration only after the confession which our shame demands.
Your article is one of the warning signs for your people and the season of Elul can only give opportunity for repentance, but our God-given free will must accept it and acknowledge sin and shame. But oh, the joy of the forgiveness.
If we remain ‘right’ in our own eyes, there will be no restoration – not to God, not to each other. Your article about the 5 States also shows the problem of dealing with the extreme elements in Jewish society. Their fear is real. One day it could be me personally, not allowed to share God’s love with others because of political correctness ….
We are all in the same boat after all, as Jews and as Christians, if we see the storm, we must take action while we can.
In Poland there are some who are fighting to keep a cross where it does not need to be kept. The fear of a changing and immoral world has panicked many of our religious communities to fight on the wrong battlefields. I grew up with separation of Church and State in Texas, we took our school Bible studies outside the school building. Democracy can be a great system but what a fight it has to remain impartial for all.
I thoroughly enjoyed reading your article and the comments of engaged readers. There was much to be gained in reading them and knowing there is such a forum of concerned truth-seeking souls in the Holy Land. Thank you very much.
Oh, by the way, the teacher of the class coming to Poland….I’d love to meet your class and show that the anti-semitism is not what it once was, there are accepting Polish friends to be met there as well. We take our guests to Auschwitz as well to learn the lessons presented there. We are always saddened that the Israeli young people never see the contemporary Polish people, at least those I know, Christians with a ‘Jewish’ heart watching for the promised day of the Messiah’s return!
Rhonda Król
Shalom Rabbi Gordis
I would like to offer an observation from personal experience as well as from a general observation of my fellow human beings for your quandary about how a few of our young people can be so insensitive and emotionally deadened to commit the kind of actions that IDF recruits (Abergils, the Haradi Nachal soldiers) could even consider. And the grand slam bewilderment of Ms. Abergil; uncomprehending of any wrong doing.
Unfortunately, there is no inoculation or immunizing vaccination from the natural human pathology of insensitivity, and indifference, to apathy to the suffering of other human beings. Even being Jewish and studying our holy scriptures does not seem to preclude this kind of human behavior.
One of my favorite Rabbis, Richard Levy, formerly of UCLA Hilles was involved in the creation of a Machzor many years ago (published as On Wings of Prayer, Hillel), a line in one of the freely translated prayers says something about being “merely human”. I think that is part of what bothers us both. Because we are also that too, merely human.
I believe this behavior is one of the main lessons of the past 40+ years of occupation of another people.
You remember how benevolent it all started out. For 25 years there was not a fence or any other hindrance differentiating between Israel and the territories in which lived non-citizens of the state.
Most of us were perfectly comfortable, we built a little here, and there, some Jews moved over the non existent line to live in what had been Jordan. But if the line did not exist for us, it sure existed for “them”, the residents of the territories whose language was Arabic and whose culture was predominantly Muslim.
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Moran ethical and personal distortion sets in when you are The Power, the one with a gun. When any 18 year old schmegeggi who just finished 12th grade, carrying a deadly M-16 becomes The Boss, that person can not help but sees and feels peoples fear of him…
Among other experiences is the powerful moral dissonance. The truly amazing story is not the few who succumb but the many who do not manifest the behavior in the field. Of course we know that many can no longer live here after that experience, others can not do anything but adopt the equally deadening philosophy of financial success and disregard for others in their daily lives. Just look at the roads.
Surely Abergil’s photos were in poor taste and insensitive, and her response to the journalists shallow and clueless. The army needs to crack down on this sort of thing and set clear guidelines as to expectations of soldiers during military campaigns.
But on the same day that the Abergil photo broke, 60 people in Baghdad were killed by suicide bombers. A short mention was made of it, as compared to the media circus surrounding Abergil. Aren’t 60 people dead more of an issue than the photographic experiment of a fool? Either the world’s journalists are so used to Arabs killing Arabs that is hardly worth mentioning, or it is not worth dwelling on because one cannot blame Israel for it.
I disagree that Abergil is indicative of a social phenomenon. England has its silly cows, America has its bimbos, and yes, Israel its fools. From the way she presented herself while interviewed, one can only doubt the level of her I.Q. Is this who we are to use as the yardstick of our integrity? Furthermore, are we to use one extremist rabbi as the measurement of the ethical prowess of our religion and most of its adherents?
Abergil is an aberration. I know scores of Israeli soldiers (one my own son) and with the exception of the occasional Abergil, our soldiers are the proud representatives of the most moral (and intelligent) army on the planet.
Good article and some good comments. As an American atheist who is concerned about the Mideast the comments from Israeli’s Rabbis, since this article was published, are appalling.Rabbi Yosef, former Chief Rabbi, claimed that non-Jews were created, like donkeys,to serve the Jews and therefore can be killed wit impunity. This Hitleresque view of a Jewish “master race” is not going to help Israel. He and other Rabbis have called for the death of Abbas and annihilation of all Arabs. Unless the Israeli government can rein it’s religious fanatics I fear Israel is doomed.